


Concerned Cousin Copes, Continually Consuming Comestibles

by Lt_Itzalova



Series: Chapters of the C.C.C.C.C.C. series, or the Seven C's [2]
Category: Splatoon
Genre: Other, Stuffing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-04-12 03:20:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19123519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lt_Itzalova/pseuds/Lt_Itzalova
Summary: With the stress of her job and having sorted out the endeavor of her cousin's recent cola addiction Marie takes some time to confide in an old friend with her stresses. Confide and just absolutely go to town on anything that can fit into a deep fryer.





	Concerned Cousin Copes, Continually Consuming Comestibles

For Sean the mid-morning lull was as much a state of mind as it was a point in time. All the hipster squid kids were off shooting their fluids on each other, the streets were quiet and barren save a few jellyfish squatters. The Crust Bucket’s sound system automatically tuned to his favorite online lo-fi broadcast right on the hour. The next stretch of hours with its middling customers was plenty of time for a nap and to be prepared for the lunch rush. Unfortunately just as his eyes were nearly closed could he make out the familiar melon-headed silhouette of his cephalopodic clientele. Stepping back upright he reached over to flick on the grills and fryers, his other claw flicking open his glasses. As he adjusted them over his antennoules he was met with a very familiar but unexpected face.

“Heyo! If it isn’t half of the Squid Sister ensemble and one of my best crustomers!” Sean stared back at the face of Marie Calamari. The inkling girl was famously deadpan but years of being a diehard fan and friend to her let the prawn realize the slight wrinkles in her facial features as a scowl. “Oof, it was the pun, wasn’t it? I’m still workshopping that one.” Sean continued, setting up his concessions without skipping a beat, their conversation set to the sound of dull sizzling and royalty-free hip-hop beat samples. 

“Nah, it’s not that, Sean, sorry, I guess I’m in just smouldering.” Marie finally responded, punctuated with a sigh and leaning her arms on the cart’s counter, resting her head in her hands. Sean beamed, hands on his hips “Well, you’re in the right place at the right time if ya gotta vent, we got a cool ninety at the very least before we should expect company, I’ll break out the good stuff in the meantime!” the tall prawn set to work, doing just as promised. Before Marie could even investigate all the sizzling and clattering going on behind the counter she was greeted with the smell of fresh fryer grease and a culinary chimera with just a few elements resembling a hotdog.

“There ya’ have it, perhaps my greatest off-menu creation: The King-Size Super-Galactic Seanwich, with the works, double batter-fried, sans stick.” Sean couldn’t help but bask in Marie’s clear awe while finessing the still-glistening fried mass with a sprinkling of grated kelp. The Inkling diva was craning her neck to get better looks at the thing, her usual disposition and whatever was bugging her clearly beaten out by how she marveled at the cholesterol-packed meal set before her. Wiping a trail of drool from the corner of her mouth she stood back upright, giving a weak little laugh. “Well, you’ve definitely outdone yourself. I’m not sure if I should worry for my wallet or arteries more.” Marie said while popping open a stylish coin purse tailored specifically to match her eyes.

“Oh, nahhh, we go way back, no need for Cash today, whatever you want, on me! Just, uh, technically I was supposed to make you sign a waiver before serving that so I can’t help with the arteries thing.” Sean rested his head flat against one claw and crossed each of his sets of legs. “Well, if you’re sure. You’re good people, Sean. You might regret this though.” Marie joked, to which Sean dismissively waved his other claw “Now, you go ahead and get to eating that and tell your ‘ol friend Sean what’s been eating you, yeah?” It’d been a good sales week, it seemed like all you had to do was stock the right orange juice at the right time to be rolling in Cash lately. That and the way Marie’s face lit up, or, rather, the sort of smug, fanged grin she did that was as close as she got to such an expression, was surely worth more than whatever this was about to cost him.

“Well, see, I’m just worried about Callie.” Marie traced circled on the counter with her gloved finger. The amount of pressure she was applying and the furrowing of her brow spoke volumes to Sean. “It’s just seeing her getting into trouble like she keeps doing, it makes my ink boil.” Marie took the fried snack in her hands, or rather hefted it, adjusting her grip as the ur-mass of meat, bread and fried batter soaked warm grease into her gloves. “I feel ya, I actually came from a pretty big clutch and had to look after my siblings pretty often. Even now those shrimps come by looking for a handout li-” in a flash Marie opened her mouth wide enough to accommodate the monstrous meal, half of it disappearing with the audible clack of a beak snapping shut. A primitive part of Sean’s brain seemed to call out to him, as if warning him of some ancient prey instincts retained from thousands of years ago.

“Uh, r-right, so I totally feel you with th-” Sean almost jumped, it was like she wasn’t even chewing, just adjusting her grip and cramming in the biggest and most expensive item on the menu with that terrible, piercing deadpan gaze of hers! Sean got upright, trying to keep cool and not make his friend uncomfortable, as much as seeing the Inkling just inhale the food before him like he’d never seen even the most ravenous and uncivilized squid gluttons could put him on edge. “I uh, heyyyy, can I get you another one of those? Yeah lemme get right on that!” the shook shrimp blurted out the first thing to come to mind: an excuse to duck behind the walls of his truck to regain his signature chill composure.

Marie certainly didn’t mind the treatment, heavy as the halfed Seanwich felt sitting in her gut she had room for quite a bit more until she’d really eaten her feelings. She was way more focused on free food than her friend’s shift in demeanor, totally unaware of how predatory her gaze on the next deep-fried offering of mystery meat, just as an imposing in scale as the last. Though she didn’t wait to scarf down the fresh Seanwich she at least made an effort to pace herself more, something that the distressed decapod appreciated, sliding a large drink cup up beside the apex predator while she continued devouring.

“Iced royal milk tea, sourced from primo tea leaves and thoroughbred sea cows and totally not from a bottle I got last week.” he chimed. Marie’s smile was enough to make Sean focus more on helping his friend than fearing the carnivore in front of him. “So, what’s she been up to, anyway? After hearing you two were back to normal I’d gotten hopes up for a reunion tour, yanno! I mean, I don’t start rumors but the whole deep web is predicting comeback dates and appearances.” Sean got back into the rhythm of the conversation, paying no mind to the raw power at which his guest tossed back her drink, covering her mouth to stifle a burp.

“Yeah, about that. I think the fame is too much for her at times. First she falls into the tentacles of those...those octo-creeps and then gets hooked on some weird sludge for months, I don’t know what the shell she’s thinking anymore!” It was pretty rare for the diva to rant like this, but years of being close friends made it so Sean wasn’t phased at all. In fact he didn’t even wait to begin frying a double-order for the verdant squid. “Well, she was always the passion, but I get what you’re projecting. You just want what’s best. You can lead a horseshoe crab to sand but you can’t make him burrow and all that.”Marie nodded in quiet agreement, or more likely, was just occupied with wiping her mouth on the back of her glove. 

The two fell into a rhythm, making short advances in the conversation, Sean showing off his culinary prowess on purpose and Marie showing off her gastrointestinal capacity accidentally. Her verbal filters seemed to be slowly disappearing alongside her available stomach space. “And I still do all the work! I make the appearances! A-and the songs and press, I never had to go to mystery substance rehab!” Sean leaned back a bit, wishing he could better distance himself from the decidedly non-chill scenario he’d been thrust into. Desperate to change the subject he took notice of the effect his cooking had been having on the girl outside of a glistening yellow sheen on her face and hands. 

“Sa-aaaay, you gonna be alright? I mean, I’d never mean to imply, you look great and all, but uh, you’re a little…” Sean waved his claws, not sure how to politely gesture without pointing at or miming an imitation of the elephant shark in the room. Fortunately he didn’t have to, recoiling as Marie hefted her weighty middle, poorly stifling a belch and dropping her gut, the sagging mass of half-digested food making a slosh that even he could hear. “Oh, this? Yeah, apparently having no bones and elastic bodies lets you do this.” she slapped it with an open palm, the mass hardly moving from the strike “I guess it’s obvious why our managers didn’t want us to know that but don’t worry, I’ll be fine in time for the shoot.”

“The what now? I don’t catch you mentioning anything like that before.” Sean mused, going back to busying himself behind the counter. “Aw carp, I probably wasn’t supposed to mention that either, but uh, there’s a lot of stuff I said today that fits that so, you know, hush-hush.” she closed her eyes, daintily pushing a fried hot dog into her mouth until it pressed the back of her throat, then pushed some more. There was a small mercy in Sean not being able to see his culinary creation becoming an outline in the inkling’s throat before the surrounding skin tensed and dragged it downward to the next step of her GI tract.

“Yeah, well, it’s more of a TV spot. Me and Callie are supposed to start hitting up some local spots while a camera crew records us there, I think this first week is some sushi place.” her stomach momentarily interjected “Hhhhrrrggggblll…” to which Sean had to note “Well, I’m totally flattered You’d come to me even before that but don’t let me ruin your fine dining experience and comeback!” though he worried how much desperation was in his tone it’d also been half an hour of Marie choking down the kind of calorie bombs potent enough to put most normal people off of food for the rest of the day.

“Oh, pshhh, it looks bad, doesn’t it?” she pressed in against her stomach from both sides, a low, steady belch rattling up from her throat as she did so, this time getting no attempt at concealment, just her trademark deadpan gaze as it steadily emptied out of her and her elastic middle deformed. “You’d be surprised how many calories a squid can toss back and work off. By the time I get there in three hours it’ll be like this never happened!” she flashed a grin before reaching for yet another piece of processed, fried meat to inhabit her intestines, tipping her head back to better fully push it down her throat whole.

Sean felt his joints lock up in what could’ve been primal fear or revulsion as he could actually hear the sounds of Marie’s throat clenching, squishing, slapping and contracting as muscles moved and dilated to push the latest morsel all the way down and firmly press it into place. “Well, that’s, uh, a relief to hear, I still got plenty of time before the next big shift anyway!” Sean removed his cap to rub the back of his head. “Well, seeing as it’s been months since we caught up I figured I should also make up for all the hotdogfish and Seanwiches I’ve missed out on.” she flashed another grin, only managing to showcase the cutting edges her beak had to Sean before laughing. “Besides, after everything I’ve been through? I’ve earned this!” she exclaimed before tossing back what would now make her third pint of milk tea. “H-haha, yeah, of course.” Sean stammered, glancing to his phone’s clock and questioning the worst that two hours could hold.


End file.
